A Self-Acceptance Inventory
 

The following intimacy inventory indicates where you stand with yourself. Reflect on each question honestly and truthfully. If your answer is no, ask yourself why not?

(1) Can you reveal to yourself your innermost vulnerable feelings, hostile negative reactions, and self-damaging behaviors, as they currently occur within you, without censoring them, without shame, without fear or negative judgment about yourself?

(2) Can you own and freely discuss with yourself as well as others how you feel about something you have done and how it affected you?

(3) Can you accept complaints from others about yourself or your behaviors, objectively, without becoming defensive, while accessing your contribution to the problem and taking responsibility for your overt or covert participation? Can you freely admit it when others are right?

(4) Can you freely own, express, and enjoy putting forth your opinions, ideas, and visions without fear or negative judgment on the part of yourself or others?

(5) Are you open to touching yourself and feeling good about your body?

(6) Do you feel warm inside when you see yourself in the mirror or think of yourself?

(7) Do you frequently tell yourself how neat you are and praise yourself for your accomplishments, as well as the little things you do throughout the day?

(8) Can you feel how much you love yourself and say to yourself, "I Love You!"?

(9) Does it feel good to do good things for yourself, such as eating well, exercising, abstaining from addictive substances, getting proper rest, taking time for fun and pleasure, and so on?

(10) Do you notice when you are sad or depressed and encourage yourself to explore and express the source of your feelings, being sincerely interested in what you feel and why?

(11) Do you comfort yourself when you feel you made a mistake? Are you concerned and available to yourself if things do not work out the way you planned, encouraging yourself to discover the lesson in the situation?

(12) Do you give your own perspectives and ideas equal weight as compared with other people's perspectives and ideas?

(13) Are you interested or curious about your way of seeing things? Do you explore how you see or interpret an event? Can you do the same for others?

(14) Can you admit it when you are wrong, without shame, guilt, or getting down on yourself? Can you love yourself even if you should do the wrong thing?

(15) Do you feel grateful for being you?

(16) Do you make time for being alone with yourself, to talk with yourself, share feelings with yourself, and nurture yourself?

(17) Do you make a point of greeting yourself often during the day by asking yourself, "How are you doing . . . . ?"

(18) Do you feel free to be yourself, spontaneously, without inhibition, guilt, or judgment?

(19) Can you freely explore aspects of yourself that you do not like, that remind you of your parents, without discomfort or judgment?

(20) Is being alone with yourself on a par with eating, watching television, engaging in sports, work, or some other interest?

(21) Do you look forward to being by yourself, with nothing to do, and enjoy it?

(22) Can you openly embrace the sensitive issues or feelings inside you when they are triggered by others or the outside world?

(23) Do you take your feelings seriously, feeling them without stuffing them, exploring their origins, rather than minimizing them or rationalizing them away?

(24) Do you feel you have to walk on tip-toes around yourself and be careful what you say, see, imagine, or feel?

(25) Are you aware of your needs, desires, wants, pleasures, and accepting of them? Do you consider them valuable and important, thus being able to act on them when appropriate?

(26) Are you able to own up to angry feelings within yourself and express what you feel appropriately?

(27) Do you find that you think critical thoughts of yourself, put yourself down for failing to meet your own expectations, rather than praising, encouraging, and supporting yourself and your efforts?

(28) Do you blame yourself for your unhappiness, as well as everyone else's unhappiness and hold yourself responsible for their pain and suffering, rather than searching for the source of your feelings, understanding that you are doing the best you can with the awareness you have, and that other people are responsible for themselves?

(29) Do you feel embarrassed to acknowledge to yourself your personal needs, such as your need to be loved, or can you openly acknowledge your needs and respond to them with compassion?

(30) Can you freely express your ideas and feelings even when they run counter to other people's ideas and feelings?

(31) Is it easy to forgive yourself for your mistakes and past transgressions?

(32) Can you accept yourself as you are at this moment without trying to change yourself to meet some idealized impossible expectations?

(33) Can you trust or rely on yourself, your own judgments or assessments, and intuitive instincts?

(34) Can you relax, have fun, and be spontaneous with yourself?